Sunday, June 3, 2012
去年和前男友分手后，生活好像失去重心。原认定的避风港突然塌了。失去了这个依靠我好像变成好像无头苍蝇一样，突然失去了方向，人生简直跌倒谷底。现在创伤愈合了，回头看这段感情时才惊觉我们真的完全不适合对方，想法太过不一了。之前深爱着他所以什么都能包含，或是没察觉。爱情果然是盲目的。虽然伤口愈合了，可是心被掏去的那一部分，依然是空洞的，以至近来常常问自己，到底人生的意义是什么？ 真的只是埋头苦干，事业有成，成家立室而已吗？ 如果依照大自然的规律，人生真的只是这样而已。动物从小就要学会打猎，或逃生。长大了要么凭自己本事去寻找食物和保护自己，要么就投靠势力强大的一群来获取食物和保护，以便在大自然生存。当然也少不了传宗接代。人类也不是如此吗？我们也是应用一样的方法在钢铁森林生存啊！这样真是太可悲了吗？！这绝对不是我要的人生。有一次和朋友聊天的时候说起真希望世界末日现在就来临，反正人生真的没什么意义，也没有东西可以盼望。朋友听到了都超紧张的，有的说＂不是要去曰本吗？你一直都期盼的！＂有的说＂还有很多东西没做啊，好多国家都还没到过！＂哈哈，好可爱的朋友，说的句句都中我的喜好，可是这些不是我主要盼望的东西。有一个很要好的朋友真接说＂你需要宗教信仰！"＂我不需要这个!"我很铁定的回答。其实他说中了80%。对我需要寄托来祢补心里的空虚，可是不是宗教。我需要的是一个实体，一个人能让我完全依靠。我是一匹野马，我喜欢自由的到处乱闯。我不喜欢被困在笼子里，被呵护着。我不介意受伤。我只希望有一个人在我受伤时替我包扎伤口。伤口愈合了又让我到处闯。一个实实在在，能包容我的任性的避风港。三毛在＜＜大鬍孑與我＞＞这篇散文里写道＂自由是多么可贵的事，心炅的自由更是我们牢牢要把握住的；不然有了爱情仍是不够的。＂这正是我所追求的。
读了三毛的散文让我又兴起了流浪的念头。流浪多好，自由自在。能见识的东西也和普通短暂的旅行来得多。如果自己的人生真的会变成那么无趣，至少有流浪的故事来和朋友"车车大砲＂。第一次有流浪的念头是因为认识了一个曾到南美洲流浪两年的朋友。他正是我自助旅行的启蒙老师。每一次听他说流浪的故事时，都可以看到他脸自然而然的流露无法形容的喜悦。说故事时他都口沬撗飞，神采飞扬，真让人羡慕。之后因为自己梦想流浪的地方欧洲收起了它发给马来西亚公民的working visa,梦想又破灭了。都怪那些＂跳飞机＂的害群之马！最近，又慢慢发觉自己懂得东西太少了！这个世界那么大，还有好多的东西等待我们去发觉，去体验。把自己困在钢铁森林，为名利和物质争夺，在红尘翻滚，太俗气了吧！连我自己都小看自己了。真的感谢三毛再次让我看破红尘！现在的目标，就是要在两年以内打好工作基础 （至少流浪完还能值钱的工作经验找工），然后存些钱，流浪去咯！有了新的目标，整个人都比较振作了！祝我好运吧！
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing, Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap...
It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't pull me down
I'm through accepting limits
Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change but till I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of Losing love, I guess I've lost
Well if that's loveIt comes at much too high a cost
I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!
Friday, February 19, 2010
The 7 Easy Postures for Photo Takings
1. Easiest! Bitchy
Put on your big big shades and look at the camera. DONT SMILE
2. I want to become a politician
Just simply point at something.
3. Not looking at the Camera
Look at somewhere else instead of the camera.
4. Look far far away
Just look far far away. Makes you look like you are a thinking some very important matter that involve all human kind and the whole universe!
Get a group of your friends and JUMP
6. Act Cute
Take picture of the back of you and your friends sitting together and finger pointing to the sky
These postures are applicable for ALL AGE and ALL GENDER! Get your friends and pose proudly in front of camera now!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Now it's time to recap my life in 2009.
1. One major decision that I've made in 2009 is changing my job. I left Titan and join Shell. Now staying in Miri, Sarawak. Come visit me! If you ask me whether I miss Titan or not, I'll definitely say YES! Especially HR in Titan. :p
2. Sponsored 2 children through World Vision. One from Thailand, one from South Africa.
3. Met my 2nd husband, Mr. Dell Inspiron
5. Visited Cambodia! And I feel in love with Angkor Wat! Plan to visit there again next time. Ohya, hated Phnom Penh.
6. Visited Brunei! nothing interesting there beside the Sushi. haha...
7. Visited KK! With Medically Revised September Group, the MDSG! LOL
1o. Arranged Fatt Choi Trio emo-part.
Ohya.. This year targets:
1. Lost weight!
2. Contact my family more often
3. Europe!!!!! :p
Still cannot believe I'm going to be 25 years old this year! SO FREAKING OLD! Well, I hope this year will be a good year for me. I'm actually looking forward to all the challenges (from work or life) and hopefully by overcoming those challenges I will grow (mentally, not physically) and become stronger. And those experiences I gained from the challenges will became my stepping stone for me to climb up to higher level. Cheers! 2010!
Monday, August 3, 2009
In Titan, I met a group of interesting friends here.
Energetic, funny, sacarstic sometime, easy going, open minded, fun are the words that perfectly describe this group of people. With them, you will never feel bored! One person I must really thank to is my supervisor during my internship, Won. He was my hang out buddy during my internship. He always likes to gather his friends in his house and organizes some small event, such as photo sharing session, drinking session and so on. He is the one that introduce this group of friends to me.
In Titan, I met someone who tought me and guided me patiently - My Boss, Tee Soon Tak (though he never want to admit that he is our boss)
We called him monk because he got a very short hair and he's a vegetarian. hahaha... jahat!
And also someone that feed me with knowledge, AND FOOD! - Ho Sze Sing
I knew him during my internship. And we got closer when I was in same team with him when I work on shift. He is the superintendent of the team. He's one my Operation Si Fu. He tought me a lot of things about process operation. He also helped me a lot with my work. Besides, he is also my snack provider, espeacially during night shift. hihi.. We had became good friend. We can share our thoughts and even crap nonsense for whole day long!
Housemates!! Never forget you all la!
Vivien! The Bao Zou Po! She's my hang out buddy and drinking buddy. She is also my chef! (Looks like there are a lot of people feed me here) She is a good friend of mine. People always thought we are sisters leh. Funny, easy going, pretty and smart! Still single and available o!
Dennis! Another drinking kaki and talk crap kaki. He can cook very well too! His asam laksa and prawns! Thumbs up! Both Vivien and Dennis really take care of me a lot when I was in Johor.
Eventually, Titan and Johor has become my another home. I grew up a lot here, knowledge and exprience wise, not to mention physical wise too. haha! This is the second time I leave Titan, for money! hahah.. money minded. I thought since this is the second time I leave Titan, I'll will not be so sad. Cause when the first time I left Titan, even though I know I will miss everyone there, I never cry at all, not even feel like crying. However, this time, I cried! In front of my friend somemore. Damn embarrassing! Unbelievable! Thanks to Won's email I supposed. (Luckily I managed to hold my tears when I say goodbye to Tee and Ho.) Haih! So sad! I really really miss you all!!!!
Good luck and all the best to all of you. Thanks for everything! Keep in touch ya!
Oh ya before I forgot.
This is my work desk in office
On the right, is my lovely little plant.
On the left, is my Lee Hom calender! One of the thing the can cheer me up when I was tired.
Wait! There is something else behind Lee Hom calender!
I left it on my desk for the new comer. Gee, I wonder he will thank me or not.....